


Dead in the Water

by HelloTragic



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-05 19:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21213569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloTragic/pseuds/HelloTragic
Summary: Killian Jones may have just had the worst year of his life. The loss of his hand, of his career, and of his pride were almost more than he could take. In a bid to reclaim his life, Killian decided it was time to face his fears, and get back on the metaphorical horse, or in his case, back on the water. Only, the purchase of a haunted second-hand boat may just come at the cost of his sanity.“The sea is like a cruel mistress. You can love her, you can hate her, but you can never trust her.” - author unknown





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Eeeeeek. You guys!!! It’s here! It’s our csrolereversal drop date and I’m so excited for you all to see the amazing art clockadile created for this event. Everyone, please go to her tumblr page and send her all of the love that she deserves because this fic would never have existed without her! She is just such a wonderful person and I feel so honored that I got to make words in an effort to bring her art to life in a different way. I hope that I’ve done it, and her, justice and that you guys enjoy this.

Everyone, before you read [click here](https://clockadile.tumblr.com/post/188658912980/) and show clock the love she deserves!!!

“Mayday! Mayday!”

Nothing.

“Please, is anyone out there?” The faint words were met with radio silence. The only noise a high pitched whining from what was likely a busted eardrum. Weak and dizzy, blood continued to drip into the water filling the cabin. The once brown floor now covered in pink. 

Searing pain, a sinking boat, and all hope lost. There was little to do but wait. Wait for the inevitable. There was nowhere to go, no reason to have hope. Climbing to higher ground had been a struggle, and pointless as the vessel continued to dip lower and lower into the icy water. 

That night, prayers went unanswered. The heavens laughed as they flashed their pearly white teeth and the crackle of a thousand laughs filled the air. The rain continued to fall all around.

There was nothing to do but wait until the water finally claimed her prize. Until the sea took it’s claim. Until the world went black.

* * *

It was unseasonably hot in Boston. Granted, summertime was hardly a perfect oasis in the northeast on a usual year, but that July had seen it’s hottest temperatures in over sixty years, and the city had been a sweltering mess. The usually pristine buildings along Freedom Trail were littered with blinding metal as each window had suddenly become occupied with ac units overnight. There had even been rolling blackouts as the power company struggled to keep up with the city’s demands.

Why Ariel’s Antiquities had insisted on holding their event outdoors was a mystery to Killian. Women and men dressed in their best, hoping that fancy clothes would somehow insinuate that they had money and could easily out bid their competitors. Unfortunately for them, their power suits became far less intimidating by the minute as sweat lines began to appear sometime just before ten. As the hours drifted on, people became puddles, their shoes sticking to the sidewalks. 

Killian found himself near constantly tugging on the collar of his shirt, peeling it away from his sticky skin. Unlike him, his brother had refused to undo the top two buttons on his shirt and seemed even more miserable, if that were somehow possible.

The two men had been sniping at each other for the better part of the morning, and now with the sun at full intensity above them, they’d resorted to silence as they milled their way through lot after lot. The auction advertisement Killian had seen online seemed to have mostly a mishmash of memorabilia and collectables, with a few actual antiquities mixed in. 

But unlike the other bidders, the two men weren’t there for random knick knacks. There was one specific item that had caught his eye on the online inventory. A tiny thumbnail the only indication of its existence and he could only hope that it hadn’t been from a previous auction. 

For over an hour, Killian traipsed through the old fair grounds, Liam in tow behind him, searching with no luck.

“Killian, I hate to be the one to say this, but it’s not here. We’ve been to every lot and it’s just garbage.” He turned to see his brother giving him a look of pity, infuriating his very being. “Perhaps this is a sign.”

“A sign of what? False advertising?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. I just-” Liam took a deep breath, pushing the air out on an audible huff. “I just worry about you.”

With that, all of the anger and frustration from the day left Killian’s body. He couldn’t be mad at Liam any more, not when he knew it was true. When he still had memories of waking in the hospital, of seeing Liam’s eyes red and puffy from tears. It was the first time he’d seen his brother cry since their mother had passed years before.

“Liam, this is something I need to do. I need to prove to myself that I can get back out there. I can’t let this cripple me for the rest of my life.”

His choice of words hadn’t meant to convey the irony, but as his brother glanced down at the metal and leather covering his wrist, Killian couldn’t help but notice the cruelty of the universe. That even the most benign of words could cause such pain, even a year later. How even thinking about that day caused his missing hand to throb in pain. 

“Killian, you are one of the strongest people I know. You don’t have anything to prove. Not to me or anyone else.”

Gone were the days where Liam teased him and called him little brother. Now, he was lucky if Liam said anything cheeky around him at all. And while he didn’t have anything to prove to anyone else, the truth was that he needed to show his brother that he wasn’t broken. Not anymore. That he didn’t need to be coddled like a wounded duck.

Before he could respond though, a glimmer caught his eye from a passing bidder’s reflective earrings, causing him to whip his head to the left. And there, tucked behind an old telephone booth, 2 huge entertainment centers, and a large canopy bed, there it was. There she was.

He didn’t wait for his brother, his jogging nearly breaking into a full stride. She was hard to see, tucked away behind items too heavy to move, but even in his limited view he could see that she was battered and bruised. Still, Killian knew that with a little sweat equity, she could be a marvel. He let his hand run down the fiberglass, feeling the strength of the hull, despite the hole in her port side. A gaping wound about the size of a bowling ball. 

She was damaged, just as he was, but together they’d mend each other. He was sure of it.

“That’s it? That’s the boat you brought us all the way out here for?” Killian could only smile to himself. “Brother, she’s a mess. Where’s the mainmast? And did you see that hole? There’s no telling what kind of dry rot is on the inside.”

“Yes. I know she’s not much to look at right now, but-”

“No. You can’t be serious. She’s better off torn apart for scraps.”

Killian couldn’t explain to his brother the draw that he felt. He’d been searching auction houses for months. All of the boats he’d seen were either grossly overpriced, or faced the Goldilocks conundrum. Too small. Too big. But this one, it was just right. From the instant he’d seen that tiny thumbnail picture on his laptop screen, he’d felt it deep within his gut. He was meant for that boat, just as she was meant for him.

“And what kind of name is Jewel of the Real?”

“Realm.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s Jewel of the Realm.”

Killian’s hand brushed over the faded wood, tracing the faintest outline of where an ‘M’ used to reside. 

The rest of their time there was a bit of a blur for Killian. Liam trying his best to talk him out of buying The Jewel as people threw their paddles up in the air, capturing the trinkets on the stage. Killian fighting with a man two rows ahead of him for the winning bid, going over the maximum price he’d set in his head. Giving the auction house the delivery address, ignoring the way his brother huffed as Killian wrote them a check.

But none of that mattered, because in the end, she was his. The auction house delivered her a few days after his check cleared. The address he’d given them was for a warehouse another expat had told him about. Cheap monthly rates and all of that. What Will Scarlet had neglected to mention was that the warehouse was actually an abandoned building in a rather questionable part of town. Killian never should have trusted the man with a deposit sight unseen. The building lacked windows or doors, and Killian immediately knew he’d been had by the huxter. 

He’d scrambled to find another place to fix up the Jewel. The drydocks at the marina were expensive and lacked space for him to spread out with tools, not to mention the absence of privacy while he worked. It was bad enough that people stared at his hook while he was picking up food from the local pub or out with Liam and his wife. He’d be damned if he was going to have people watch him work on a boat one handed. He even considered trying to work out of his friend, Robin’s, garage but the thirty two foot boat simply wouldn’t fit. No matter how imaginative he got with his sketches. 

In the end, it was the most unlikely of allies that came to his rescue. The last man he ever expected to aid him with the Jewel. Liam owned a shipping company, specializing in European imports, with English ales and German lagers making up the bulk of his business. The main office was based in downtown Boston, but there was also a small warehouse down by the port where items were stored as they awaited inspection. His brother, still not happy with his decision made him an offer anyway. Come to work at Jones Shipping Monday through Friday, and he’d have the warehouse all to himself in the evenings and on weekends to work on the “abomination.”

Killian accepted begrudgingly. He wasn’t necessarily in need of a salary. He had the monthly stipends from the Navy to live on, the only benefit of losing his left hand, and the idea of becoming a corporate stooge maddened him to no end. He’d already sold his soul once, and they spit him back out once they deemed him of no further use. He wasn’t quite ready to lose the rest of himself to a full time day job pushing paperwork, schmoozing potential clients, and taking orders from Liam. But the perk of Liam’s harbor warehouse was too great to pass up. 

So he took the job. He started on a Monday and the boat was delivered on the following Tuesday. Liam had neglected to mention his need for a key, so after driving across town, Killian ended up having to turn around without seeing her. The next day he’d nearly ripped into Liam when he saw him, but seeing three other men in suits sitting in front of Liam’s desk made him rethink his anger. Or at least rethink giving his brother a piece of his mind at work in front of people he’d only ever met at staff parties. He’d already had to deal with stares and questions from a rather bold intern. The stress from his own self-consciousness only amplified his frustration with Liam.

He finally got the key from Liam later that afternoon, along with another gift that he wasn’t particularly fond off. One that actually left him offended. One that he threw back in his brother’s face as he stormed out of his office, not caring one bit what anyone thought of him. Not when his brother obviously thought so little.

He was too upset to even go check on The Jewel at that point, choosing to head to a pub near the harbor instead. The Rusty Anchor was a fan favorite for expats. It’s where he’d met Scarlet, which unfortunately didn’t actually say much about the place. He’d met a few good blokes there as well though, like the bartender Robin. They’d become friends in a grief counseling group. It was mandated for Killian, but optional for the other man who was grieving his wife. Listening to Robin talk at their monthly meetings had helped put Killian’s loss into perspective. Suddenly his missing hand didn’t seem so catastrophic. 

Robin had invited him to the pub knowing Killian was new in town with few friends, and the two men had formed a bond in the months since. In a way, he felt closer to the man than he did to Liam. Like he could tell him anything without the brotherly judgment that always radiated from the elder Jones. 

After a few pints and a good talk with Robin, Killian had calmed. Liam was still a moron, but that wasn’t on him. And as Robin said, he just had to continue to remind himself that the only reason he was even working for his brother was so that he could fix up the Jewel. As soon as she was sea worthy, he could leave his job without breaking his word to Liam.

In a slightly better mood, he headed a few streets over to the warehouse, ready to take a full inventory of all of the repairs she’d need. The hole in the hull was obvious, as well as new paint all over, and she needed a new mast and sails, but there was always the concern of dry rot. That was the biggest worry. Having to replace every plank of wood and all of the fiberglass on the boat would defeat the entire purpose of restoring her. 

Not to mention the difficulties he’d face using his hook. He was more than proficient with it for everyday use after eight months of practice, but some things still tested his limits. As he walked up to the warehouse, thinking about how he’d hoist the sails on without tearing them, he was completely lost in thought, oblivious to the man standing next to his boat. He was more than a little embarrassed by the shriek that escaped from his lips, but upon realizing that it was Liam there waiting for him, his distress turned to anger again. Especially when he saw the box from earlier on a nearby table.

“Killian, before you say anything, it’s not what you think. I never meant to imply-”

“What? That I’m a freak. That I’ll scare away all of the clients?”

“Actually, it was quite the opposite. I got it for you.” Killian looked down, unable to meet his brother’s gaze. “What? You don’t think I see you? The way you shrink in on yourself when you’re out with Elsa and me?”

Liam had him there. 

“Look, Killian. I just thought that maybe it would help you to feel more comfortable. I never meant to insinuate anything by it.”

Perhaps he had overreacted. In his mind’s eye, it was just the cherry on top of a horrible year. The whole world judged him. Wasn’t it only a matter of time before his brother saw him as a disfigured beast as well? Except, that wasn’t what happened. He’d made a snap judgement, and thought the worst of Liam in the process.

“You’re right. I... it’s harder than I expected it to be sometimes. I thought,” he had to fight to keep his emotions in check as he remembered those first few weeks in the hospital. How he’d lost more than just his hand. “I thought it would be easier than this.”

“And I’m sorry that I didn’t handle it in a more sensitive way. I think I was just so excited to show it to you that I assumed you’d be just as enthusiastic. Obviously, it’s not all that functional, but it’s remarkably realistic and Elsa and I just thought it would make you more comfortable dealing with clients.”

Killian laughed to himself. A sad little thing. It was very realistic in a way that nauseated him when he first opened the box. Even now, as he walked over to it and lifted the top, he couldn’t help the catch in his throat. The prosthetic hand looked incredibly realistic, right down to the synthetic hair on the back of the silicone. There was a metal clip that popped into place in his arm sleeve and a metal wire that hooked into his shoulder strap, just like with his hook that allowed some slight mobility in the hand. It opened and closed, allowing him to grab objects if he needed to, but it wasn’t nearly as advanced as the mechanical hands he’d seen in the clinic. Although this one probably didn’t cost the same as Liam’s house either like the mechanical ones, which was a plus. 

He lifted it from the box, testing the weight of it. It was slightly heavier than his hook, something that would take some getting used to. It was also probably going to end up being longer when all was said and done. Wearing suits might be a problem. He’d have to wait until he got home to check. 

Liam, for his part, didn’t seem to want to make it any bigger of a deal than he already had. Instead, he changed the subject back towards The Jewel. 

“Do you want the good news or the bad first?”

He’d already had a hard enough day. He didn’t need the bad news at all, much less first.

“The good.”

“Well, she’s not a total loss. I’ve been checking her over, and the bulk of the damage seems to be located here, in the hull where this hole is. The fiberglass is badly splintered around it. I’ve been trying to work out what exactly could have caused it, but aside from an act of Poseidon himself, it makes no sense. Whatever made the hole, it came from the inside of the boat. The furniture inside the cabin is also ruined. Smashed to pieces or rotted away. But the rudder and keel are still in perfect shape.”

Killian leaned in closer, allowing his hand to move along the edges of the hole. Liam was right. The edges was splintered towards the outside of the boat, and the fiberglass around it was all badly cracked. The auction house had sent him home with documents explaining that the ship had been docked at the marina and it had been hit by some object during a storm. They’d clearly been mistaken. 

“And the rest of her? What shape does she seem to be in?”

“Well, the wood planks on the deck could use a good sanding, but if you’re just talking about integrity, I think she’ll hold up just fine.” Killian and Liam both climbed the ladder Liam had set up, allowing him his first good look at her. “You know about the mast and roping already. A full redo on both of those. But come look at this!”

Killian followed, letting his hand glide upon the metal railing. For the first time, it felt real. Look at this! It’s the original certificate showing the builder. You realize what this means don’t you?”

“That you’re excited she’s older than you are?”

“No! She’s vintage Killian! Once we fix her up, you can sell her for twice what you paid for her! Well done little brother.”

Killian took a deep breath, already out of patience with his brother for the day.

“Liam, I see three things wrong with what you’ve just said. First, it’s younger brother. Second, when exactly did this become a joint endeavor? Just a week ago you thought the very idea of my purchasing her was the single greatest mistake of my life. Thirdly, and listen closely Liam because I’m not going to say this again, I am not selling this boat.”

“Well you _ are _ my little brother. And I’m just trying to protect you. Why do you think I worry and watch after you so much?”

“You don’t need to worry about me!”

“Well apparently I do!” There was something about the way Liam’s voice, the way it broke as he screamed the words that tugged at Killian’s heart. “You almost died! I waited and waited while they searched for your body, sure that there was no way you’d survived that storm. And then I waited and waited again at your bedside in the hospital, praying to God that he didn’t take you away from me like he had mother. So don’t you dare tell me that I can’t or shouldn’t worry about you!”

Killian had to will back the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He knew that Liam had been at his bedside in the hospital, but he had never thought of what it must have been like for him getting the call that his brother was lost at sea in a storm. He spent a great deal of time clinging to some wreckage, just trying to stay afloat as the waves crashed over his head, and his body plummeted over and over for what felt like years. Once the storm had passed, he found a piece of the destroyed ship large enough for him to crawl on top of and he let the exhaustion take over. When he woke again it was to intense agony in the hospital ICU. 

“Liam, I’m not out there anymore. I’m not adrift at sea anymore. I’m here, and I’m fine.”

“But you aren’t. You aren’t here. You say you are, but I think a part of you died out there that day, and I-” Liam gave up all pretense of hiding, letting the tears flow free, “I think part of you wants to get lost again. Why else are you so intent of fixing up this boat?”

“That’s what you think? That I want to put in all of this work just to go out and vanish into the ocean? Liam, I’m doing this to prove to myself that I can. Because the idea of going back out there sends a bolt of terror through my spine right to my very core. I need to show myself that it was just a freak accident. To get back up on that proverbial horse.”

Liam said nothing, just walked back down to the stern of the boat and down the ladder, walking straight out of the warehouse, leaving Killian alone with the guilt of everything he’d put his brother through. Even as children he was always managing to get into trouble, and poor Liam had always been the one to pick up after him. As he heard Liam’s car start up from the open warehouse door, he couldn’t help but wonder how much more Liam had left in him. 

If it weren’t for the fact that he had work at eight in the morning, he very likely would have found himself back at Robin’s, downing a full bottle of rum all on his own. As it stood, he had a debt to Liam, far more than for the agreement he’d made for the warehouse space. He owed his brother everything, and though he couldn’t give Liam the one thing he wanted most, he could give him everything else. He could be the prodigal son in a way. Arrive to work everyday in nice clothes, rubbing elbows with Boston’s elite. 

So instead of heading back to Robin’s he went down into the ship’s cabin. The space was small, not that he expected much. The boat was only thirty two feet long, and not that tall. There was enough space for a small kitchenette with a tiny sink and grill top. Across from that stood what should have been a small dinette area. Where a table and bench seat should have been was nothing but wood scraps and moldy torn fabric. 

He nearly gagged when he opened the door to the tiny lavatory. The toilet was covered in black mold, or what he hoped was mold as nothing else seemed like an attractive option. And then he went to the bedroom area up at the front of the boat. He wasn’t quite sure what to expect, knowing that the hole was in that area. What he found was nothing though. The bed and mattress had been removed, as well as the padding in the seat next to it. The wood forming the cabinets and closet had been torn out as well, leaving behind only the impressions of where they once fit in.

It was evident that the Jewel needed work when he bought her. And he knew that had he known at the time just how much work she needed at the auction house, he likely still would have bought her. But as he stood there, in the torn apart interior, he couldn’t help but feel scammed by Ariel’s Antiquities. They’d purposefully positioned her in a way that no one could see just what shape she was truly in.

Repairing her would take longer than anticipated, which only meant more time working for Liam. Exhausted, Killia headed back to his one bedroom apartment, crashing nearly the moment his head hit the pillow. The next morning, he rose well before the sun, even without the use of an alarm. Apparently you could take the man out of the navy, but not the navy out of the man. 

After a nice run, Killian readied himself for the day by showering. Once dry, Killian placed his sleeve over his stump, followed by the hook he’d become so used to. He then picked out one of his better suits, not that he had all that many to choose from, dressed, combed his hair, and stepped back to take stock of himself in the mirror. It wasn’t a look he was used to. In fact, the last time he’d been dressed in such a way had been his mother’s funeral. He was still a teenager, Liam barely an adult himself, wearing suits they hadn’t yet grown in to. 

Not wishing to dwell on that thought any longer, he headed for the door, grabbing his keys from the bowl on the side table.

And that’s when he saw it. The gift that Liam had given him the day before. His brother had left it in the warehouse in his haste to escape, and Killian had grabbed it on his way out, still not sure how he felt about it. He’d never really intended to wear it, not for everyday office use at least, but as he stood there in his suit, feeling completely uncomfortable and out of place, he decided to, just for once, do something for Liam. 

It took him a few minutes to undress, removing his suit jacket and dress shirt so that he could disconnect his hook from the shoulder strap. The hand felt clunky on his arm, and it was difficult to get it through his sleeves, but in time he managed. 

The drive to Liam’s, and now _ his _ office, wasn’t a long one, but at seven in the morning, it may as well have been a full county away. The traffic was horrible, not something he’d become accustomed to driving in. He’d always avoided rush hour like the plague, and now it would be a part of his daily routine. He also found that the hand was difficult to use. Because of his sitting position, it wouldn’t quite clamp shut around the steering wheel the way his hook would have.

By the time he arrived, he was over ten minutes late, and the morning staff meeting had already started. He did his best to sneak in, sitting at the back of the room, hoping to go unnoticed by Liam, but because the world was already against him that day, he failed.

Liam called him up to the front of the room, officially introducing him to everyone as the new head of client relations. Killian gave an awkward wave and that was it. He’d been inducted into the company, and day after day, week after week, he sat at a desk, working up contracts, researching possible leads. His nights were often spent at dinners, flirting with wives and schmoozing husbands into signing with Liam’s company. He hated it, and more still, he hated how little time he had for repairs on the Jewel. 

Repairing the hull had been easy. He sent off for a patch kit, a misleading name considering the size of the hole to be touched up. After carefully cutting away the excess damaged fiberglass and setting the patch in place, he waited for the epoxy to harden, sanding down the excess so it was smooth. Aside from the lack of paint, she looked good as new. The hardest part had been placing everything where it needed to go with just one hand. 

He soon realized just how difficult repairing the rest of the boat would be. The entryway to the Jewel was narrow, hardly wide enough for one person to enter at a time. He’d never be able to get fully assembled furniture and cabinets in. So slowly, he brought in all of the material, piece by piece. It took time, considering he’d had to carry all of the materials from the parking lot down the dock, and onto the ship. It was exhausting work, and there was still the matter of assembly. It took him weeks to get everything cut just to size, and assembly space had become a real issue after the new bench and table had been installed. Finding a place to store the cabinetry wood had almost broken him. The boat had almost broken him.

But he persevered. Slowly the cabinets came together. The bedroom in the bow of the boat found itself with a bed and a small closet, and the bathroom got a shiny new toilet. After two months, he’d finally finished the interior of the boat. All that stood in his way from land and sea was a new mast, the part Killian had been dreading most. 

It was the very first thing Killian had ordered after he’d purchased The Jewel, but as with any special order, it had taken over a month to arrive, and then when it did, it wasn’t even the right size. He and Robin had spent the better part of a day trying to make it work, to somehow force the new mast into place, huffing and puffing at the weight. Hours later, Killian finally admitted defeat, and with shaky arms sent the company a firmly worded email chastising them for their incompetence.

Two full months and one paint job later, a new one arrived. Robin was unable to help him again though. Setting his pride aside, Killian was forced to ask for help. He and his brother’s relationship had soured. It wasn’t that there was ill will between the brothers, but there was a small bit of resentment on Killian’s part. Sometimes it seemed as if Liam was giving him extra work and setting extra meetings for the sole purpose of stalling his repairs. Some of the clients that Liam set him up with were too small to even have shipping needs. 

_ We just want to make sure that they keep us in mind incase the expand Killian. You have to always be selling Killian. It’s called networking Killian. _

He’d had enough. Eventually he’d declined enough of Liam’s offers to spend time together on the weekends that Liam had stopped inviting him over. The brothers discussed business needs, but outside of the office, they may aswell have not even have been related. Killian did feel bad. His brother was the only family he had left after all, but there was just the matter of his pride. He’d had so many arguments with Liam in his mind that he couldn’t remember which conversations were real, and which were made up. He just knew that he was right in all of them.

Which is why it was so hard for him to turn to Liam for his help. Unfortunately, the mast weighed a few hundred pounds and while the dock, where the boat finally resided, had a crane to help them move it in place, someone still needed to help him slide it into place and hold it steady as he secured it to the boat. The dock had a firm policy on not helping with certain repairs. They didn’t want to be held liable for any damages or injuries that occurred as a result of human error. 

Asking Liam for help had been hard. It took him full two days of building up the courage. He’d nearly walked into Liam’s office three times before turning around at the last minute. Finally, he just had to man up. To his surprise, Liam agreed without much opinion on the matter, and that weekend the two brothers finally made up as they struggled together to install the mast. They tried seating it in place, but despite their best efforts, it was slightly off, leaning just a degree or two. While most people might have shrugged it off, both of the Jones boys were determined to get it in straight. 

To the chagrin of the crane worker, they demanded he raise it back up so they could check to make sure the surface was level. Nothing seemed off to the naked eye, but again, the mast wouldn’t sit straight. After one final raising, Killian stuck his hand in the seat, trying to feel if there was bubbling or warping in the wood, and to his surprise, he felt something cold and smoothe, not at all like the wood plank he’d expected. After some fiddling, he was able to loosen the object enough to pull it from its hiding place. It was small, so small he wasn’t surprised that anyone at the auction house had missed it. 

Liam, for his part hadn’t said much, but Killian could tell by the way Liam was breathing that his brother was annoyed, not with him but with the delay, and ready to finish working. Killian threw the gold piece in his pocket and together, he and Liam finished installing the mast and all of the rigging lines. Afterwards they went for drinks at Robin’s bar, a place Liam had never been before. They shared a few beers, caught up on all of the things they’d missed in the past few months, and each departed like it was no big deal, both ready for a good night’s sleep. 

Killian had hoped to crawl into bed and fall straight asleep, but for some reason, as he laid there, his brain seemed to kick into overdrive. It started with thoughts of how he’d have to map out the currents and winds in the boston area before he could ship out. Before long though, all he could think about was work. He’d planned on leaving Liam’s company as soon as he was done, and while he hated some aspects of the job, he did like the structure it provided him with. It forced him to get back into the world again, something he hadn’t realized that he needed to do until Liam tricked him into it.

Unable to sleep, Killian got up to clean, something that usually relaxed him. He started with the dishes, washing and drying them all by hand before moving on to tend to his laundry. Most of his suit items were dry clean only, but his weekend clothes were soaked with sweat and best washed sooner rather than later. Checking all of the pockets and making sure everything was right-side out, he threw items in the washer one by one until he got to the jeans he’d been wearing that day. He’d managed to completely forget about the trinket he’d found on the boat, until just then. 

He finished sorting his clothes and started the machine up before heading back into his bedroom, turning on the nightstand table lamp as he crawled back under the sheets. He let the metal turn in his fingers, inspecting the perfectly polished gold. It was a small locket with a bird etched onto one side. There wasn’t an engraving to go with it and told him nothing about the person who’d lost it. The chain that it was attached to was short and the links where tiny, meaning it likely belonged to a woman, but that was all he was able to gather. He continued to turn the locket, just feeling the weight of it in his hand, the surprising warmth of it, when his finger caught on a hidden clasp and the locket snapped open. 

It wasn’t what he’d expected. Most women’s lockets contained tiny photographs, but the inside of this one held a small compass. The opposite side featured an engraving, but it didn’t have any names. It simple read: _ So you always find your way. _

He should have wanted to search for the owner, to return what was probably a meaningful gift. There were plenty of news stories all the time about people helping to reunite lost items and owners. The soldier who had his purple heart stolen. The bride that lost her wedding ring on a beach vacation. They were always happy endings, and he knew that the locket didn’t belong to him, but for some reason, he just felt a call to it. Like he also needed it to help him find his way. So he kept it, slipping it on over his own head, having to pull it past his ears. He fell fast asleep soon after.

The next week at work had been grueling. Liam had lined up three dinners for him, one of them with a very sexually aggressive woman that ran a dog breeding company. Apparently there was a high demand for designer dogs and people were willing to pay high prices to have them shipped over the water during the summer and winter seasons when airlines restricted their pet travel policies. He’d had to pry her off of him at the end of the evening, promising he’d call her soon. A complete lie. 

The whole encounter had left him feeling dirty. He hadn’t even so much as looked at a woman since his accident, not really, and he just wasn’t ready to move forward in a romantic capacity, even just a physical one. Not after having his heart shattered before. The woman in question wasn’t even interested in him. Not as anything more than a gigalo. 

The weekend couldn’t have arrived fast enough. He just needed to get out of town. To get away from everyone, from his responsibilities. He was ready to hit the water and shed the ghosts he carried around with him. He’d planned meticulously. There were charts filling half of his closet and he’d popped by the Tuesday before to fill the kitchenette with snacks for his inaugural trip. He didn’t have a refrigerator yet so he’d done his best to stick with ready to assemble meals. Nothing big, just some bread and jams. A few tea bags and bottled water in case it got cold out on the water. 

The plan had been to set sail just as the sun was rising that Saturday. To greet the new day on the water, but for some reason his alarm hadn’t sounded that morning, and for the first time since he’d joined the navy, he overslept. By the time he made it down to the docks it was just after ten, and the area was filled with people. Families going out on day trips. Tour groups trying to enjoy the last few weeks before the winter season. Before everyone would have to winterize their boats and leave them stored away until spring. 

He was lost in his thoughts as he walked along the wood planks at the docks, past other ships, nearly tripping on a rope that someone has carelessly left out. Cursing under his breath, collecting himself from the slight embarrassment of it all, he glanced back at The Jewel. It was hard to see with the sun reflecting back on the water, but for just a few seconds, he could have sworn that he saw a shadow moving along her port side. There was a person on his boat. 

It wasn’t unheard of, finding a vagrant living on an unused boat, or some random person lost and on the wrong ship. The Jewel had a very specific and unique paint job though. Mistaking her for any other vessel on the harbor would have been impossible. And he’d been there only a few nights before. He would have seen signs of a stowaway using her for shelter.

That could only mean that whoever was aboard his boat was looking for trouble, and after the morning he’d had, he was more than willing to give it to them. Swearing to himself, he picked up his pace, ready to give the trespasser a piece of his mind, but when he finally made it to The Jewel, she was empty. Thinking perhaps they’d gone below deck, he crept down the narrow stairs, doing his best to avoid making noise. There was no one though. She was empty. Just a trick of the mind.

Feeling foolish, Killian reemerged, on the deck, ready to give all of the lines one final check before setting sail when he heard a noise, a creaky wooden plank from down below. This time he ran, not giving a damn if the person knew he was coming or not. He was ready to find whoever was hiding. 

Once again though, he came up empty. Even after searching in all of the cupboards and storage spaces under the kitchen bench and his bed. He checked all of the closets, but there was no one. He was all alone. 

It was just in his head. Not surprising considering what a huge step he was about to take. The idea of going back on the water leaving him with an uneasy queasy feeling in his gut. Which was also the exact reason that he needed to do it. Why he’d tried to stress to Liam the importance of buying The Jewel. 

He needed to conquer his fear. Even if his brain tried to scare him out of it. Because that’s all it was. A shadow from a person on a boat near his. An old creaky boat groaning from the change in humidity. It was all in his head, and it needed to stay there.

More determined than ever, Killian went back upstairs, ready to set sail, distraction free, but when he emerged from the cabin, he was met once again with an odd sensation. A feeling of being watched.

“Permission to come aboard?”

“Bloody hell, Liam? How long have you been here?”

“Not long.”

And there it was. His older brother, his protector, playing games with his head to place doubt. Liam had done more than his fair share of things to delay the boat becoming ready, but to actually try to scare him away was just too much.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“Come again now?”

“I’m talking about you playing games with my head, trying to frighten me away from taking my boat out. You’ve made it very clear that this wasn’t something you wanted me to do, but this is a new form of low, Laim.”

He was furious.

“Killian, I assure you, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve only just arrived.”

He watched the elder Jones, the way his brow furrowed. Liam may have been a great many things to Killian, but he’d never known his brother as a liar.

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I’ve actually come bearing a gift.”

It was only then that Killian noticed the neatly wrapped bundle in Liam’s left hand. Liam didn’t ask permission again, choosing to come aboard The Jewel to hand the gift to Killian. He felt more than a little guilty for accepting it, especially after having just yelled at his brother, but Liam was insistent. 

Carefully he peeled back the wrapping paper, careful not to tear it, lest he find paper scraps for weeks to come blown into every nook and cranky. Inside, he found a book, an old one by the look of it.

“It’s a first edition. Took some time to track down or I would have had it to you sooner.”

The significance of Liam’s thoughtfulness was evident. It was a first edition of Peter Pan. The book their mother used to read to them nightly. Each time she finished, Killian would beg her to start again from the beginning. It was the thing that first ignited his love for the sea. 

“Thank you, Liam. This means more than you know.”

Liam just gave him a nod, understanding the emotional weight they both held in that moment. 

“I, uh, guess you haven’t checked the stern of the boat just yet?”

It was on his list. First the ropes, then a walk around above deck to ensure everything was properly secured, before walking around the dock to check that everything was good on the exterior.

Intrigued, Killian climbed down from the boat and walked around to the back side of The Jewel. But what he found was that she’d been renamed. 

“The Jolly Roger?”

“I very specifically remember you telling mum and me that when you grew up, you were going to own a huge ship, and you were going to name her The Jolly Roger-”

“Just like Captain Hook.”

He’d completely forgotten. As a small eight year old, he was determined that one day he’d own a pirate ship. That he’d sail the seven seas taking whatever he wanted from whoever he wanted. Probably in part because he was sick of getting Liam’s hand me downs. 

“I hope you don’t mind. I know she’s not exactly what child Killian had in mind, but you’ve done exactly what you said you were going to do. And I know I’ve been a prick about this entire thing, so I wanted to do something to make up for it. To show you that I really am in your corner.”

Killian was touched. It was possibly the first time his brother had apologized to him since before their mother died. Even then, it was probably the first time he’d ever done it without being scolded into it. 

“Thank you, brother.”

There’s one final thing. Last night, Robin and I came out here and installed a motor on the back.” Killian was about to say something, but Liam barreled on. “I know. But I just want to keep you safe. If you should find yourself without wind, you’ll still have a way to get back to shore.”

“Marvelous.” His annoyance only slightly tempered by Liam’s attempt at a kind gesture.

From his inside coat pocket, Liam produced a manual for the motor. ‘A guide to your new Stern Mounted Electronic Engine.’ He had to give it to Liam. He’d thought of everything. Even a Mr. SMEE.

Together, he and Liam set about getting The Jolly ready. After checking everything over twice, they finally set out, both men trying not to hold their breath as the docks become smaller and smaller. After about thirty minutes, they were able to relax, realizing that the ship hadn’t yet sunk, and likely wouldn’t anytime soon. 

The trip was relaxing for the most part. The brothers argued still, as Killian realized that Liam had completely rearranged all of the food in the kitchenette. It wasn’t surprising and he’d seen Liam do it at his house, whenever Elsa would just quickly throw things back in the pantry. But what did shock him was how Liam adamantly denied it, even though Killian knew he’d left the tea bags in the cupboard above the tiny stove top, not under the sink. And the chips had been moved as well as other items. Still though, Liam swore he hadn’t touched them. 

Killian eventually let it go, finding it not worth bickering over anymore than they already had. The real fist-to-cuffs came at the end of the day, as the two men had already redocked and were setting the boat back to rights. Liam had grabbed the trash and told Killian that he was going to take it all to the dumpster in the parking lot while Killian secured all of the sails.

Liam couldn’t have been gone for more than a minute when Killian stood to turn and move on to the other sail when he slipped and fell flat on his back. It hurt more than he wanted to admit, and in his haste to stop himself from falling, he’d somehow managed to catch his hook in the jib sail, tearing it as he fell. 

Killian took a moment to compose himself, waiting for the sting of hitting his back on the rail to subside. He must have taken longer than he realized, because by the time he sat back up he heard Liam call his name and scramble across the boat to check on him.

Killian assured him that he was fine, or that he would be as Liam helped him back up. Careful of his steps, he turned to see just what exactly he’d slipped on when he caught sight of small water puddles in the shape of shoe prints. Absolutely sure that Liam had made them somehow, the two brothers had it out, causing Liam to storm away in a huff once more. 

Killian stayed long enough to dry all of the water and to watch the sunset over the horizon before heading back to his place to grab a much needed ice pack. His back was still sore two hours later, so he opted for a shower instead hoping that the warm water might help soothe the muscles. 

Slowly he undressed, trying not to twist or bend too much. Catching just a glimpse of himself in the mirror are he removed the small gold locket he’d found, he caught sight of his red cheeks, realising that even in October, he’d still managed to get a bit too much sun. 

Getting to sleep had been tough. It was only after a glass or two, or three of rum that he was able to find a comfortable position. He drifted off, dreaming of being a child again. Of Neverland and Captain Hook. 

The next morning he was still quite sore, so he’d opted not to take a second trip out on the water. Instead, he’d spend the day shopping for groceries and flicking through television programs until he settled on Wicked Tuna. Before he knew it, it was time to ready himself for bed and another dreaded week at work. 

It ended up not being as bad of a week as he expected it to be. Liam hadn’t scheduled any meetings for him outside of normal office hours, and the clients that came into the office to settle contracts all seemed relatively normal for once. The brothers had quazied made up, but both felt it was best if Liam didn’t go out with Killian again for a while.

By the time the next weekend came, Killian was eager to set sail again, alone. No distractions. No mind games. Just him and The Jolly. Unable to hide the gold chain under his work shirt, Killian had chosen to leave the compass at home all week, but slid it back over his head before getting in his car to drive down to the water. 

For a few moments he worried that his plans would be dashed as his car had refused to turn on. The starter trying to turn over and failing. Finally though, he got her started and headed straight for the docks. 

He went through his usual routine, checking everything over, checking the weather once more. It was a little windier than he would have preferred, but the local station said that the wind would die down a bit by mid day. With everything ready, he set out, heading up the coast line just a bit. 

The wind stayed stead for nearly four hours, despite the weather stations promise, and at one point, his life preserver ring had managed to come loose and blow straight off the ship. Not wanting to waste sixty dollars on a new one, he turned into the wind, stalling the boat, and dove dove in after it. A foolish endeavour on his part, considering he was alone if anything had gone wrong, but he figured if he could just get to the ring, he’d be fine. 

The water was colder than he’d expected. In the navy he’d done cold water drills, letting his body adapt to it. But it had been a year, and his body simply wasn’t used to it yet. The moment he hit the water, his leg cramped up, and for just a second, he sunk under the surface of the water as he grabbed at his leg. When he resurfaced, it was with a mouth full of salt water. His nose burned and his eyes stung.

Once he managed to make it to the preserver, he tried wiping his eyes, but it only made things worse. Looking around to see just how far he was from The Jolly, his eyes had difficulty focusing. Everything became blurry as it felt like he’d had sandpaper rubbed against his cornea. At one point, it looked as if there was a figure standing at the bow of the boat. An impossibility given how far out he was and the lack of other boats. 

He closed his eyes, giving them a few minutes to calm down, and when he reopened them, the figure was gone, and The Jolly was more in focus. Killian managed to swim back to the boat, a freezing mess in his wet clothes. He hadn’t actually thought about bringing a change of clothes with him for such a short journey. He stood there on the deck a shivering mess, ready to give up on the day. 

As he tried to turn the wheel he began to feel slightly warmer. The wind had finally died down just as local weather woman Alfina Merryweather had promised, except that Merriweather had neglected to mention that her version of a slight breeze was actually a dead stop.

There was nothing, not even the slightest hint of movement. He waited and waited, at one point removing his clothes and doing his best to squeeze as much water out as he could. He thought of Liam, of how his brother would probably be worried if he didn’t hear from him soon. Thoughts that eventually reminded him of the motor his brother had installed for just such an occasion. The motor that Killian never wanted, and certainly wasn’t going to admit to using. 

It took him forty two minutes to read the manuel enough to understand what he was doing, the whole thing one long novel of gibberish. Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried, and how many times he went through the manuel again, twenty minutes later he was just as stuck as before. 

After another thirty minutes of attempting to start it and pretending that hyperthermia wasn’t a real threat, he finally caved, ready to call for help over the radio to a towing company. But the radio was just as dead as SMEE, and all of his calls for help were met with static. He began to worry, checking his phone to see the time only to realize that his phone was dead as well. He continued to plea for assistance, the static only becoming louder, eventually there was a spark as he felt a strange nasty shock from the microphone

He jumped back, yelling every curse word he could think of until he was nearly hoarse. Just as he’d quieted, shaking out his hand, he’d heard it. A creaky noise coming from above deck, The same sound he’d heard on his first day out. The sound of boards buckling under the weight of a person. He was sure of it this time, unless the jolt had managed to shock his brain too. 

Slowly he crept back up the stairs, feeling every hair raise along his arm as he went. Something felt off. Something just felt very very wrong. But he persisted still, opening the door as quietly as possible. He crept along the deck, treading lightly as not to make any noise. As he moved high enough to see the front of the boat, he noticed a figure. An eerie ethereal blur of a woman. 

But before he could say anything she turned and looked right at him. He watched her for a moment, as she seemed to float above the bow of the boat, somehow both there and not quite real. And then her mouth opened, and with the anguished scream of a hundred voices at once, she yelled at him to get out.

He nearly fell as he scrambled backwards, feeling his heart in his throat, trying to leap clear from his body. And just as quickly as she appeared, she was gone. He was paralyzed in fear, completely unable to move when he heard the boat’s engine spring to life, snapping him out of his trance.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is its guys, the epic conclusion to this fic, all inspired by Clockadile's inspiring work (just wait until you see her second piece!!!!). I hope you all enjoy it. I’ve had a lot of fun plotting this out with Clock, even if writing it was like pulling teeth at times. My own fault to be certain. It’s a bit strange to know this is the end of my fic writing, but I couldn’t have asked for a better event to go out on.

A/N: Everyone, go show clockadile all the love she deserves for [her art](https://clockadile.tumblr.com/post/188862619320/checking-the-sky-above-him-he-found-no-clouds)!

* * *

* * *

Fall turned to winter and winter to spring. The leaves fell, littering the streets, only to be replaced by mountains of snow, which eventually melted off leaving a mess of sludge behind. The city kept going somehow. But The Jolly remained untouched for months, still left barely tied to the dock.

Killian hadn’t actually been out to check on her since his frightening encounter. Wasn’t even rightfully sure if she was still there. He’d been too spooked at first. Then too busy with work. 

But by the time March came around, things at work had slowed a bit, and Killian began to wonder about that day. Months had passed and his memory just a little foggy. Had he really seen anything at all? Or had his mind just twisted something up? Like awakening from a dream and not knowing what was real or not. He’d been through so much in the year and a half before. It hardly would have been the first time he’d imagined seeing things.

By April he was all but convinced that the entire thing had been one huge figment of his imagination and was ready to give sailing another go. Starting with just a small trip out to build his courage, Killian waited until well after sunrise, hoping the extra hours of daylight would provide a slight respite from the chill still in the air. He didn’t even bother packing food as his plan was to not go so far out that he couldn’t see the marina. 

The Jolly was still there, something he found slightly surprising as the winter waves had been known to blow sailboats clear down the shoreline and he’d barely tossed the rope around the deck cleat. She was also a little worse for the wear. Her sails a bit dirty and tattered around the edges. Soot from the melted snow covered her decks. But she was still afloat, and really, that was the best he could have hoped for. 

He did his routine checks, making sure that she was sailable before pushing off, letting the gentle breeze guide her out to sea. He made it about a mile out, just able to still make out the apexes of the ships moored near his spot, and waited. For what exactly he wasn’t sure, but still, he waited for nearly an hour. 

The time that passed could only be described as unremarkable. No oddities happening around the boat, no spooky sounds, and no ethereal visions. She was just a boat like any other and just as before, he’d imagined the whole thing. 

After bringing her in and properly tying her up, he went to work on setting her to rights. Scrubbing the decks, replacing the frayed ropes, and tending to the sails. The headsail was easily salvageable, but the mainsail needed replacing after leaving it half rolled up. Water and dirt settling in the loose packing, icing over and weighing against it. He knew better, but he’d been in such a state that he hadn’t cared at the time.. He’d have to order a new one before he set out again.

Having eased his mind a bit, the next week went by for Killian in a blur. He’d ordered the new sail as soon as he’d arrived home, and luckily the company he’d purchased from was local to Boston and agreed to let him pick it up directly from their store rather than having it shipped.

Liam seemed a bit shocked at Killian’s previous reluctance to sail, but seemed even more surprised by his sudden determination to start up again. While he didn’t offer to go sailing with Killian again, he did insist that Killian call him before setting sail and after returning just to know that everything was ok. 

For his part, Killian agreed, still not having told his brother of his previous difficulties with the lack of wind, nor of the ghoul he’d seen onboard. Not that it mattered much as it had all been a figment of his imagination. A haunted nightmare caused by the trauma of his past.

As Saturday approached, Killian found himself excited for the first time in months. He’d planned a trip to Nantucket Island. He’d never been there but by all accounts it was a lovely little place. It was the Brant Point Lighthouse that had really caught his attention though. Online, it was the quintessential image of New England, and he wanted to see it in person. 

By his estimations, it was roughly a three hour trip, a tidbit that only caused him to second guess his plan for a few minutes as the theme song to Giligan’s Island played in his head. 

_ A three hour tour… _

Once he’d reclaimed a better hold over his sanity though, he finished planning his exact route, making sure to send a copy of his plans off to Liam, just in case.

He woke up early that morning, ready to replace the mainsail himself before setting off. There was still a bite in the air that left him searching for a sweater and his trusty leather jacket. The one Liam had gifted him just before his first assignment. He even grabbed the gold compass locket from the drawer he’d hid it in after his scare, not having wanted anything around at the time to remind him of that event. Now though, knowing that he’d imagined it all, he felt it only proper to wear it for his first true journey on The Jolly.

It was dark when he arrived to the marina, only the very first hint of light breaking over the horizon. It took longer than expected to get the old sail off, the fabric having fused to the lines over the past months. He’d had to cut some parts off, letting his hook do most of the work while his other hand just followed behind, pulling at the tattered scraps. Eventually the sun rose, the morning light turning from red to orange to yellow. 

The sky filled with the lightest shades of blue as he worked on installing the new sail. He was just about finished tying off the last of it when he felt something, a shadow pass over him. Checking the sky above him, he found no clouds. Just an empty blue sky. He closed his eyes, willing his mind not to fail him again, to seize control over himself. But when he opened them again, the shadow was still there. A woman’s silhouette framed in the mainsail he’d just attached. Her hand pressed against it as if she was reaching out to him. 

He swallowed thickly, willing the figure to go away, but it didn’t. He froze once again, waiting for it to pass, mentally repeating the mantra his therapist had given him for just such occasions, but no matter how long he waited, the shadow remained.

“Who..who’s there?”

He waited for what seemed like an eternity before he heard it again. The anguished cries, this time less distorted, but just as upsetting.

“Get out!”

That time he didn’t freeze; He didn’t wait for it to disappear. No. That time he ran as fast as his legs could carry him, despite cries from other people milling around yelling at him to slow down. He got in his truck and drove home just as quickly as he could, locking the door behind him and grabbing a bottle of rum he’d stashed in the cabinet above his freezer.

Everything after that was a bit hazy. The next morning he woke to find he’d texted Liam, telling him he was sick and would be out the whole next week. Something he didn’t remember having done.

He spent the entirety of Sunday held up in his apartment, watching bad cable tv programming, hiding from the world. Eight binge hours later, somewhere between Snapped and Homicide Hunter, Killian had a realization. If the spooks only ever happened on the boat, naturally, it stood that it must have been related to whatever happened before he bought The Jolly. It likely happened to the previous owner and that’s why he got such a deal on her.

He had to wait until the next day to contact Ariel’s Antiquities. They were insistent that the info they’d given him before was accurate. That the ship was repossessed from the previous owner for non-payment, but when pressed for details on the who the previous owner, they dodged his questions. Something just didn’t feel right. More determined than ever to uncover the truth, Killian turned to the internet, hoping that perhaps the original owner had registered the ship somewhere. His search of Boston and greater Massachusetts provided nothing. Eventually he stumbled on a national website that guaranteed to prove a comprehensive history report for only twenty dollars. Fortyfive dollars if he wanted addresses as well.

And that was how Killian found himself spending an indecent amount of money on a website called The Hulltruth. It took about thirty minutes before the report was emailed to him, but when it came in, he found that the boat was registered in Storybrooke, Maine and reported missing. The rest of the report was limited, just telling him that the boat hadn’t been in any previous accidents. No address, no name. Just that she was missing.

Of course he’d allowed himself into being swindled. Who else was lucky enough to purchase a stolen boat but him? With his full wrath backing him, Killian found the auction house’s office address and stormed there, ready to raise hell over his stolen second hand haunted boat. Surprisingly, he wasn’t the only person there airing a grievance. 

A woman was there, arguing with one of the auction curators. As it turned out, the first edition one of a kind copy of Her Handsome Hero was not the two hundred year old book the house had promised. It was actually a well crafted replica. Despite the letter from an expert that the young woman had brought with her, the staff declared that all sales were final and sent her on her way. Killian wasn’t discouraged though, knowing he had the law on his side. 

It took time, and there were threats made, but Killian finally discovered that the Jewel of the Realm had been found off the remote coast of Kittery Point, Maine by one of the auction house’s salvagers. Apparently a number of the items sold there under than label of authentic antiques were actually salvaged on abandoned beaches. Items lost or washed to shore. 

The auction house brought the boat back to Boston and sold it as soon as possible rather than report it as found. They tried to claim that since the boat had been abandoned, that it wasn’t technically theft. When pressed about the damage to the boat, they conceded that while the hole had been there when they found it, they were the ones that removed the guts of the boat to make it a more appealing purchase. They told him that the wood was badly stained and they didn’t want buyers poking around trying to figure out what happened. A pointed remark towards him to be sure.

He left with no more answers, aside from the knowledge that The Jolly wasn’t stolen in the middle of the night from a different marina. Or at least so they said. Killian prided himself of behind able to read people, and while the man, Sebastian, had shown a range of emotions, he never appeared to be lying. 

The next morning he was still unsettled, not really knowing what happened. Especially given that in her current state, the boat was unusable. He wasn’t going on it just to be frightened within an inch of his life again. The human heart could only take so much. Plus there was the added thrill of the mystery, not that he’d call what was happening a thrill in anyway.

But he needed to know. He needed to find the previous owner, to ask them if they’d had problems too. 

That morning Killian packed up his car and headed up interstate ninety five, ready to get his answers. The report he’d bought didn’t have an address, but considering that there was a missing boat report, the local sheriff's station seemed like a good place to start. He’d spent the three hour drive coming up with a cover story. Telling them he’d bought the missing boat wouldn’t accomplish anything. They would simply seize it from him and then cut him out.

So instead he decided it would be best if he claimed to be a reporter, working on a story about a string of boat thefts along the northern coastline. That he was trying to see if they were connected. He’d even gone so far as to look for missing boats online while he stopped for gas. He thought of everything, was prepared for every eventuality, except for the one he got.

Storybrooke was a small quaint town. There were a few people milling about, but as he pulled up to the station, he found himself to be the only car in the parking lot. Slightly worried that he’d find the station locked up, he was surprised that the door was in fact unlocked. The building was small, just a short hallway separating the outside from a large room housing three empty desks. Along the back wall there were two holding cells, also empty. The place seemed to be deserted until he heard a shuffle coming from around the corner.

“Hello?”

“Just a sec!”

I took a moment, but eventually a tall blonde man in jeans and a button down appeared, offering him a handshake. He introduced himself as David Nolan, town sheriff. Killian gave him the reporter backstory and asked if he had some time to talk. He noticed the way the man stiffened a bit as they walked to his office, but the man made no comment. Just led him into another room where he offered him a seat across the desk from his own.

Killian started out vague, just talking about how he was an investigative reporter out of Boston, where they’d experienced a string of boat thefts recently, and he wanted to see if they were in any way related to an uptick of reports stretching through Maine. When he was done, there was nothing but silence as Sheriff Nolan simply looked down at his desk, his hand grabbing a photo frame and clutching it closer to his chest. 

In time, with a wrecked voice, the man finally spoke. 

“The report you’re asking about. It wasn’t a boat theft.”

“Come again? The report listed it as missing.”

“There’s more than one way a boat can disappear Mr. Jones.” The sheriff gave him a sad smile, passing over the photo. It was a picture of him with another woman. “Her name is Emma. Was Emma.”

Over the next twenty minutes Sheriff Nolan explained to Killian that Emma, a beautiful woman, was his sister. His adopted sister, but family none-the-less. She was a family lawyer in Boston, specializing in divorces and custody issues. 

Emma’s job was extremely stressful, angry parents, threatening phone calls, so on the weekends she’d sail up the coast to Storybrooke to visit family. The alone time allowed her to decompress. To let the weight of the world fall from her shoulders.

About a year and a half earlier, just around the same time Killian found himself waking up in the hospital, Emma disappeared. It was a holiday weekend and she’d come up to visit her brother and sister in law. She’d stayed with them for a few days before packing up and heading back. The sheriff explained how he’d begged her to stay for one more day, that there was a storm coming, but Emma had insisted that she’d be ahead of it. That nothing would happen.

And no one ever saw her again. The ship had disappeared too and the assumption was that she’d been caught in the storm and been lost to the sea. They’d searched for weeks, David calling in every favor he could think of, but for all of the searching they never found Emma or The Jewel. The case still remained open, but only as a technicality. 

The drive home, all Killian could think about was David, and how much pain he was in. He’d wanted to comfort the man, to tell him that his sister’s boat had been found just down the shoreline, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t risk losing The Jolly before he’d figured out what happened, and more than that, he couldn’t risk giving David false hope. Not after he’d seen the photograph. The flowing blonde hair, emerald eyes. Not when he knew that the woman in that photograph was the same thing that kept appearing to him.

When he got home, the first thing he did was look up Emma on the internet. She was in fact a family lawyer at Goldman and Mills, a prestigious firm based in Boston. By all accounts she was sharp, with a high success rate. Most of the hits he found were news reports from some of her higher profile cases. 

Finally, on page three of his search, he found an article from the Storybrooke Mirror about her disappearance. It was just as the sheriff had said. The working theory was that something had gone horribly wrong and she’d most likely tipped and sank during the storm, too far off the coast, it was assumed that Emma sunk with the ship. All of which would explain why she was now haunting the Jolly. 

He wasn’t crazy. His mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. 

But he did have a haunted ship to deal with.

He waited until Thursday to return to The Jolly, giving himself two full days to build his courage. The plan was to stay ashore, unsure of what might happen. He was ready to confront Emma, or whatever it was that looked like her, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get through to her, or if she was just a demonic apparition, tied to the boat forever. He really shouldn’t have researched spirits.

The marina was empty when he arrived. Most people were at work or already gone for the day. He supposed that may have been for the best. Killian’s ego was bruised enough without a large portion of Boston watching him scream like a young girl.

The Jolly seemed just as empty as it had when he’d bought her, but by now he knew better. She was there, somewhere, lurking. He just wasn’t sure how to reach her. There’d never been one thing that seemed to spark her arrival. The first time he’d been stuck at sea, and the second, he’d been docked simply replacing the mainsail.

“Emma?” Nothing “Emma Swan?”

Still, nothing happened, so he waited, taking a seat on the deck. He waited, and waited, her ghostly form never appearing. Not until the moment the locket slipped out from behind his button up shirt.

“That’s mine!”

He looked up to find her, Emma, before him, hovering above a wooden plank, a small puddle of water filling the deck below her.

“Get out!”

She said the same words just as before, but this time it was different. Gone where the unearthly voices he’d heard echoing around him. Instead, it was just one voice. Just her.

“Are you Emma Swan?”

He watched as her head tilted to the side, a glimmer of recognition at the name filling her wide eyes. Then fear. Unabating fear.

“Help me!”

That was all she said before she collapsed onto the deck, her form turned into a cloud of smoke, blowing away into the wind leaving behind only the puddle of water. He waited for hours after that, but she never appeared again. 

He went home, discouraged. He had no idea how to summon her. Not that he necessarily had any idea of what he was trying to accomplish. Did he want to help her move on? Did he just need to find out what happened so he could give David Nolan some closure. Did he just want his ship back?

That night he tried to answer those questions. While it would be nice to have The Jolly ghost free, it was something more than that. He felt drawn to it, to her in a way. Finally, as he tossed and turned in bed, he realized what it was. She was in pain, just as he so often was, and while he couldn’t fully mend himself, he might be able to help her. To ease her burden in a way.

The next morning, he went down to the docks first thing, calling for her just as he had before. Met with silence once more, he sat, trying to mull over what could possibly help him. Thinking back on his research, some people claimed that spirits were attracted to objects, but the only object he could see Emma being attached to was the boat herself. There was nothing else left on the ship that belonged to her. 

Nothing except the locket.

It was the first thing she’d mentioned the day before, claiming it was hers. He reached below the collar of his shirt, feeling for the chain and slowly pulling until the gold locket was fully exposed. But still, she did not appear. Desperate, he clutched the charm in his hand and chanted her name.

“I told you, that’s mine!”

She sounded less angry that time. Less confused as well as her feet seemed to actually touch the deck. 

“Aye. I found it while I was repairing the boat.”

He did his best to keep his voice low and calm, not wishing to frighten her away. 

“Repairs?”

“Yes. I had to replace the mast.” He watched as she scrunched her nose. “Do you remember what broke it?”

Her entire form stiffened, her chest heaving.  
  
“No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.”

“Emma, it’s alright. You’re safe here.”

“Please” She just looked at him with desperation as her hand moved to her stomach. “It hurts so bad. Make it stop.”

Drip. Drip. Drip. He heard it before he saw it, but blood began to flow down her ivory sundress, covering the deck of The Jolly. Killian leapt to his feet, trying to help her staunch the bleeding but before he could get there, she was gone, and the wood planks were dry, as if nothing had happened.

He went out every day for the rest of the week, never taking the boat to sea, but always waiting for Emma, summoning her with the necklace. She only ever stayed for seconds to minutes, but each time she became a little more aware that something was wrong. 

As Monday came though, he found himself stuck at work late, night after night. Dinner parties with potential clients. Drinks to celebrate newly signed clients. Liam’s company and his position kept him too busy to go down to the docks at all that week.

It wasn’t until Saturday that he was able to see her again. This time he took the boat out to sea, hoping that maybe a change of scenery might help to bridge the gap between wherever Emma was and the here and now. Once he was about two miles out he held the compass in the palm of his hand, calling to her once more. She came to him immediately, with more solidity than ever before. He spoke with her for a while, telling her who he was. When she vanished that time it was calmly. No screams of pain, no violence, no fright. Just peacefully.

He took the boat back to shore, tying her up properly. He’d promised Liam and Elsa he’d spend the day with them Sunday. Liam had started to worry about him after he took the week off of work, and he knew that if he didn’t concede to family time, Liam would start poking around. He wasn’t ready to explain it to his brother yet.

_ Yes, Liam. I’ve been spending all of my free time trying to talk to the ghost that lives on my boat. _

That would have gone over marvelously.

So another week passed in full before he was able to see Emma again. Every time he saw her she was able to stay a little longer. To talk a little more. They hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room, sticking to safe topics instead. Her job. His job. She told him about some of her more eclectic clients, always using the present tense. He told her about the cougar he’d had to wine and dine the weekend before. He wasn’t sure how much control she had over herself and he didn’t want to risk upsetting her again.

Months passed, each weekend spent as sea. It was nice, just being able to talk to someone so openly. She never seemed to judge him. In time, he found himself rather vexed by her. She had witt and spunk. Just a little bit prickly but in a good way. A kindred soul.

It was a warm July morning when it happened.

“Killian?”

“Yes, love?”

He wasn’t sure when he’d started using the term of endearment around her, but she’d never objected to it.

“I’m dead, aren’t I?”

He nearly choked on his coffee, not expecting it in the slightest. She’d been so upbeat for the past few weeks, as if she’d had no cares in the world. He never would have guessed that she’d been considering her mortality.

“How long have you known?” 

“Since the beginning maybe? I don’t know. I can just feel it, like I don’t belong here.”

His heart broke for her. He couldn’t imagine the feeling of knowing that her life was over. That everything was finished in a way, but that she was still stuck.

They didn’t speak. Just stood together in silence watching the horizon. His hand slid closer to hers, his pinky reaching out to caress her hand, but instead he just moved right through her. If she didn’t know before, there was no way she didn’t now.

Emma didn’t come to him the next day. Somehow he knew that she was in mourning, that she needed time for herself. It made his heart break all over. He felt for her in a way he hadn’t felt for someone in a long time. Not since Milah. 

It was a week before he went out again, this time bringing flowers with him. She couldn’t keep them, but he hoped it would be nice for her just to see them. To know they were for her. She was solemn when she appeared. Not surprising given the state of things. 

The two of them exchanged pleasantries and spent the day just soaking each other in, not speaking more than a few words here and there. It was nice in a way, but he craved more. 

She enchanted him.

“Killian?”

“Yes?”

“May I ask what happened to your hand?”

It was another question he wasn’t prepared for. It was somehow easier and harder to answer. Something he never talked about with anyone, but something he found himself willing to share with her. So she could know him better in a way.

So he told her. He told her how he was a lieutenant in the Royal Navy. How he’d risen through the ranks, dedicated his entire life to the service of his country. Of how he’d been on a routine training mission that went horribly wrong. The mine field they were doing maneuvers through was supposed to be dead, all a simulation. But one of the mines was live, and the ship exploded. He woke up in the hospital after spending an entire night clinging for dear life to a barrel. His hand was gone and so was his career. That he had night terrors and had to see a therapist because he’d lost his hold on reality.

He left out the part about his girlfriend being so disgusted by the stump that she left him, that she took a transfer just to get away from him. 

When he looked at Emma again, he expected to see pity in her eyes, but there was none. She just gave him a nod of understanding. 

They watched birds fly by. The sun moved from one side of the sky to the other. Just a peaceful silence, until she spoke again.

“I think I was murdered.”

“That’s not what everyone said happened. The newspapers, they said it was the storm.”

“There was a storm, but I remember a man too. It’s hazy, like an old dream. But he was there, below deck, hiding I think. I- I went down below and he was there. I remember screaming at him to get out, but he didn’t.”

She continued to recount the details she could remember, or that she thought she remembered. Her memories of that night where muddled and she didn’t know how much of it was true.

The man below deck was familiar, but she couldn’t quite remember what his face looked like. He smelled of wood, or maybe it was just the boat that did. She remembered being attacked, thrown against the hull, hearing a crack. There was a fight, she tried her best to fend him off, but it wasn’t enough. She remembered being thrown against the fiberglass again and again, hearing the hull fail. Glass from a mirror slicing through her stomach. The rest was a blur for her. The man was gone, and she tried to climb to the deck but her body was broken. She made it to the radio, but there was only static. Water began to fill the cabin, and it took everything she had to force herself up, to pull herself above deck as the storm raged on. Each droplet of water that fell feeling like acid against her battered skin. She told him how she held on as long as she could, and that was it. That was all she remembered. 

She’d been murdered, just like she said. It explained the damage to the hull, why the mast had snapped, the stains on the wood the auction house had removed. 

He had nothing to say. No words to offer her. His problems were nothing in comparison. Someone had taken her life, with purpose and malice. And now she was trapped in two worlds, belonging in neither, unable to move on. 

He wished nothing more in that moment than to hold her. To be able to wrap his arms around her and block out all of the pain. To take away her sorrow and to give her hope. To let her know she didn’t deserve to die that way. That she didn’t deserve any of it. 

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do any of that. She wasn’t really there. She wasn’t solid. He’d never be able to so much as hold her hand. 

A knife through his heart. 

And that’s when he realized the true depths of his feelings for Emma. He was in love with her. He was in love with a ghost.

And all he could do was to be her friend. Her confidant. 

“Where do you go when you aren’t here?”

It was a question that had plagued him since the beginning of their friendship, and while he was afraid to hear the answer, he needed to know that she was safe when he wasn’t there.

“Nowhere?” She turned her head up towards the top of the mast. “I think I just stop existing.”

That wasn’t the answer he was looking for. He was glad that she wasn’t in some realm being tortured but the idea of her just being gone? That was almost as bad. He went home that night thinking of her. Of what it would be like.

He knew. He didn’t want to admit it, not when his feelings for her had grown so strong, but he was being selfish, calling her back to a world where she was nothing more than an apparition over and over. He needed to let her go. To help her find a way to move on. He just didn’t know how, short of finding her killer.

She remembered nothing about the man though, only that he was a man. And Killian had no experience in investigating murders. It was a dead end.

He continued to think on it all week at work, even through the weekend. He didn’t go out on The Jolly that weekend, or even the next, still debating if it was more cruel to leave Emma alone, or to force her to face her death again and again. 

August passed, and into September. Still he stayed away, unable to torture Emma any more than he already had. It wasn’t until someone at work had brought up the fight she’d had with her boyfriend, how he always made the decisions for her, that he realized that was exactly what he’d done. He’d never bothered to ask Emma what she wanted. He just assumed that it was worse for her when she was with him. 

That was enough to ignite a flame under him. He left work early, driving out to the docks. The sky was scattered with clouds but there was still enough light out for a quick trip to sea. 

He didn’t bother with his usually checklist or sending Liam a text on where he was going, too eager to see her face again. To talk to her and find out just what she wanted. To ask how he could help her, if she even wanted help. 

The wind had picked up significantly from the time he’d left, sending him out farther than he’d planned, but he didn’t care. Not when all he could think of was Emma. The sky a bit more grey now, a slight shower starting. 

“Emma? Are you here?”

He waited, clutching the compass so hard the metal around his neck snapped. He’d ripped the chain. 

“You broke it.”

She was annoyed, but he honestly couldn’t tell if it was from the jewelry or from him having abandoned her. 

“I, I’m sorry. I’ll replace it as soon as I get back to land.”

He wanted to talk to her, but she was too focused.

“My brother gave me that when I started at my firm. He was worried I’d become a corporate stooge. He gave it to me so that I’d never get lost.”

_ So you always find your way. _

“I’m so sorry, Emma.” 

“You can’t replace it.”

Killian wanted to cry, to scream, to go back in time and meet her before any of this started. But he’d never been a lucky man that way.

He held his hand out, watching as small drops of water fell into the gold face. Emma walked over, letting her fingers graze over the metal. It was different that time, he could feel the weight of her hand. She didn’t simply pass through him. He watched as she took the compass in her hand, solid as could be. 

“Swan?”

Her head snapped up at him, completely unaware that she was real enough to hold an object.

He reached out, letting his knuckles caress her face. He could feel the warmth of her skin. She was real. He didn’t know how, but she was real. 

“Killian? How? How is this possible?”

He didn’t know, and he didn’t care. He nuzzled his forehead against her own, their lips only a hair’s width apart. When she didn’t pull back, he leaned in, softly pressing his mouth to hers. Just a peck. Her lips were soft. He tried to pull back but her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him tightly. 

They may as well have kissed for an eternity. He loved the feeling of being lost in her, not caring that the light sprinkle had turned into a full on downpour. That his clothes were soaking wet. Lighting flashed, illuminating the sky, and thunder crackled above them.

But he didn’t care. Not with Emma in his arms.

They broke apart finally, Emma’s laugh filling the air. 

“Emma Swan. I’m in love with you.”

He hadn’t meant to just blurt the words out. Hadn’t meant to say them at all, but his mouth seemed to have a mind of its own. Forever passed as he waited for her to say something. Anything.

“Killian,” there was sorrow, and he knew she wasn’t going to return his feelings. “It’s not fair to you. I’m a ghost, and I can’t control anything. You, you deserve so much more than I can give you!”

“But you’re here. I can feel you clear as I can feel my heart beating in my chest.”

She wasn’t there though. She could sense it even if he couldn't. There was a pull on her still, from whatever place she’d come from. Even in solid form, she didn’t belong there.

Lightening and thunder filled the sky once more, darkness all around them.

“Killian, it’s not safe out here, you need to go.”

He looked around, realizing for the first time just how far out the wind had blown him, would continue to blow him if he didn’t stow the sails. Emma helped his as best she could, but with the waves now throwing the boat back and forth, they had trouble controlling their movements. 

The Jolly was still heading in the wrong direction though. Killian felt fairly confident that he could weather the storm below deck, waiting for it to pass, but the growing waves continued to batter the boat and Emma pleaded with him not to stay. Begging him to return to land. He caved, heading to the back of the boat to start up SMEE, but no matter how hard he tried, the motor wouldn’t budge. 

Unable to do anything else, Killian headed back to the cabin, trying to call for help, but the radio wouldn't work either. It was just static on every channel. As he hit the main box, sparks flew into the air. The Jolly swayed from side to side, getting closer and closer to tipping each time. 

They both went back above deck to see just how bad the storm was. There was only darkness as far as the eye could see. They were trapped. He was trapped. 

Dead in the water.

“Emma, love, I have some life vests stowed in one of the front compartments. Go grab them and I’ll try the radio again.”

“No.”

“What?”

She stood at the rail, closing her eyes and breathing it all in, calm for the first time since the storm had started.

“It’s me.”

“I don’t understand. Just go get the life vests. We’re going to be okay.”

“No, Killian. It’s me. All of this. The faulty electronics, The storm. I don’t understand it, but I can just feel it. It’s, I feel it in my bones.”

“No. No. Emma-”

“Killian, you have to let me go. It’s the only way.”

“But I just got you. I don’t know how to let you go.”

She smiled at him, a sad heart wrenching smile and gave him a light kiss. 

“It’s ok.” She held out the compass. “I think I can find my way now.”

It was the locket.

The thing that she was tethered to. It had never been The Jolly. The boat had simply been a means for her to stay and find it. 

“I don’t know how to do this without you.”

“You’ll find a way.” She gave him one last kiss. “I love you too.”

And with that, she turned back into a vision, a veil between them. One last flash of light and she was gone.

Just as she’d said, as soon as she left the boat sprung back to life. The motor revving behind him. The waves continued to beat against the hull of the ship. He was frozen, his heart torn to shreds. But he couldn’t let that be the end. He couldn’t let her have died, again, in vain, so he pulled himself together. He used the motor to push him through, steering himself back towards land, any land.

He was lost after that. Spending days in bed, unable to get up, to do anything but cry. Her absence haunted him in a way she never had. Loneliness followed him. Emptiness filled him. Weeks went by. Liam did his best to get Killian out of the house, to bring him back to life. He knew his brother was worried, but he just didn’t have it in him to care anymore.

With time though the sting, still there became just a little less. The pain in his heart became a little more manageable. Everything just became less in a way, less and more. He made it out of bed. He had dinner with Liam. He even was able to go back to work. 

He still felt her loss, but it got easier. However something still tugged at him. An inkling that something wasn’t quite finished. He was in pain, but at least he had closure. Emma did too, but her family didn’t. They still didn’t know what happened to her. 

He debated on the best way to tell them, how to give David the details without including the part where he fell in love with the man’s sister’s ghost. Eventually, he decided that it would be best to do it over the phone. That way he could control the conversation.

He waited until just after noon on a Monday, calling the Sheriff’s station in Storybrooke, hearing the familiar voice of David Nolan pick up. He didn’t give David his name, just that he had information of the disappearance of Emma Swan. That her boat had been found by a company named Ariel’s Antiquities. That the auction house had destroyed all of the evidence on the boat so they could sell it. 

David tried interrupting him, asking how he knew any of it, but Killian pushed through, finally giving the man the most important part, telling David that he was sorry, but that Emma had been murdered by a man familiar to her. He apologized for not being able to give him more information and then he hung up.

He could only hope that it was enough to give David some form of peace. That maybe it would be easier to know for sure that she was gone. Because sometimes the cruelest thing in the world was hope.

Time continued to pass. The pain in his heart turned to an ache. He still missed her deeply and thought of her often, but she’d given him something. She’d healed him, and nothing could take that away. It had taken him a while to realize it, to accept her loss. But her death didn’t negate the fact that she’d brought him back to life, and everyday he thanked her for that. Choosing to focus on the good rather than the bad.

A year had passed. Exactly three hundred and sixty five days without her. His plan was to head to Robin’s and have one drink in Emma’s memory before heading to the docks to take the Jolly out. She was still there, a part of her in those old wood planks. He could feel her warmth in every inch of that old boat.

Robin’s was overcrowded though, so he skipped the drink. Emma didn’t need an alcoholic toast. So he headed straight to the Jolly instead, stepping out of the pub’s doors just before the headlines changed, the little ticker tape running across the screen blocking the bottom of the Man United pitch. 

> _ Woman found alive on Kittery Beach after missing for over three years. _

He missed the headlines again when he decided to stay out just a little longer, wanting to watch the sun sink below the horizon. He missed it one more time too when his phone rang. An unknown number from Storybrooke, Maine.

He’d almost let it go to voicemail, worrying that it was David Nolan, having discovered it was him that called all of those months before. But something in his gut pushed him to answer.

It took a second for a voice to sound on the other line after he answered, but when it did, he nearly dropped the phone.

“Killian?”


End file.
